We have all been through so much don’t you agree?
We have endured events/moments that have left us feeling unsettled. Then what’s worse is we continue to carry those sensations with us into the rest of our journey.
I know that when I feel unsettled it’s almost always based on something from my past I haven’t worked through fully. All we have in life are interactions with people. People do things and we make those actions mean things. If we could physically disconnect the meaning we give these events, with the actually facts of what occur, we’d have complete power – Always!
I’ll give you an example; James and I have just moved into an amazing property managed by a company and owned by a local reputable business man. What we are faced with is that the home (being new to the management company) was not in the best shape when we took possession.
It’s been a month now and we are still working through the deficiency list. (I am resisting telling you my thoughts on this time frame.) For now I will keep it simple, what is so is that we are in the process of completing the list.
In the past month I realized that I make up so many dis-empowering things. Things I thought were: We’re gonna get screwed here this is it we’re hooped! Moving is hard enough how can the property management company not work harder to make this a smooth process for people? Maybe we’re being too picky maybe we should just settle and fix the rest ourselves? We’re all alone how can James and I possibly do all this work ourselves? The biggest overall theme for me was who am I to make any of this better? What rights and power do I have?
It was hard to remain powerful when to be honest my ‘no one ever listens to me’ ran the show for most of the month. This one pops up often and it brings out a nasty side of me that likes to yell and scream. That or I retreat and hide – and neither is effective. Knowing all this about myself I was able to learn my rights as a renter, email my needs effectively, and stay connected and true to myself and everyone I love in the process. I was able to keep my commitment to myself about being powerful and not jump ship and live over in crazyland. Oh how tossing out my true commitments and visiting crazyland is easy. I’m just not into living there any more. (see also my post on being an asshole http://www.playfulradiance.ca/oh-the-significance/)
Each and every moment I had to look and see what shit I was making up. I had to put aside those crazy stories and realize that they are based on past crap I wore as a security blanket. When I realize it’s all just a defense mechanism trying to keep me safe. Then to realize even more that the blanket is actually barbed wire, and taking it off allows me step into a new possibility. No one wants to to deal with anyone wearing barbed wire. And if we’re being honest, it doesn’t feel good at all wearing it. Oh I know it’s familiar, but it doesn’t work.
Here’s to distinguishing the crap we make up, that doesn’t serve us, and that bogs us down. To seeing the barriers between you and all your dreams. It lies there in the reactions we have to situations and events that create emotion. It lies in the grey muddled mess on the floor. The mess consists of events intertwined with what we make them mean. Our past lives there, but our future doesn’t have to. Begin to see the difference and you’ll regain all your power in every moment! It takes work but once you see the difference you’ll be forever changed. You’ll feel less comfortable in your barbed wire security blanket, you’ll be a super hero with a different cape.
May we all toss off our security blankets and dance with vulnerability, being real, raw and awesome! That’s who we truly are and what we’re here to be.
Have an amazing day love!