As I lay on my matt in yoga today I had a flash back of ballet when I was three years old. My memory was that we were all directed into the frog position by the ballet instructor. Seems innocent enough right? Sure was. This is a classic example how we interpret events in our lives and we are forever changed by our take aways.
I distinctly remember the instructor physically forcing my body. It hurt like hell. I am sure she didn’t intend any harm what so ever but as I child I right then and there made up a billion things about people, the world, and my athleticism. I will sum it up and say I lost a lot of trust. I remember the pain I felt, and the fear. This woman was an authority figure after all and I was an itty bitty tiny tooter. There was no choice in the matter for me. All I remember is that my body didn’t bend like she wanted it to.
Needless to say, for many years after when I felt that strain of a stretch, I wasn’t willing to ‘push or force’ my body, it actually had me retract and fear many other challenges a well……..ah we are all so funny – the shit we make up is so brilliant. Seeing this all now makes me laugh. It’s not funny that it ran me for so many years, but when you know better you do better. I now see it in a whole new light.
Flexibility was not achieved through Ballet classes, Gymnastics, Rhythmic Gymnastics or any other ‘instruction’ based learning I was surrounded with as child.
None of the classes I ever took could encourage me to go within, send breath and compassion for wherever I am at in the moment and not force a god damn thing but just simply be – NONE that is until Yoga. Yoga has taught me so much. It’s allowed me to see who I have been and what I want to create for my world moving forward.
This post is a shout out to all the yoga instructors I have ever had. (I will acknowledge my mentors and coaches in a future blog post) This post might not make it to all of my instructors but I wish they would know the difference they have made in my life. You are shifting way more than your realize!We all are. The zen-like love and compassion is hard to find out and about in daily life. It’s there but you truly have to hunt a tremendous amount to gather that greatness. Mainly what we find is power and control as most of us were raised that way. More on that in a future post for sure (I have so much to say on that topic!!)
One more topic I’ll post about in the future is how many times I chose not to have Yoga in my life. I mean I will tell ya it was love at freaking first pose for me! That must have been in 1997 or 1998. And I cannot say I have gone consistently for even a solid year since the blessed day. Ahhhh women, the choices we make are sometimes so silly aren’t they?
I love looking at my first many years of my life and see only learning’s instead of grudges I once held. Oh and not to mention blame game we all love to play. Begone everything that doesn’t serve my highest greatest good, begone!
Can we all hold hands and acknowledge that we’re all so freaking perfect – right here right now? Breath that in…..
Choose what you choose, and know the next moment is a new choice.
I love my life. All of it, the parts I love the parts I have learned from and the teachings I share.