Are you easily triggered? Do you react easily to situations? Sure we all do from time to time. There are two main reasons why we humans flip our lids and blow up now and again.
#1 – Many of us are living in a constant state of tension. Compared to many other cultures we in the western world settle for way less than bliss. What I mean by that is so many of us are ok being just ok. We coast at a level of alright and may get excited when we feel good. Think about it, when was the last time you felt amazing for a week straight. I mean ah-freaking-mazing. We’re all triggered, because we’re human, but how much you are triggered is completely and 100% up to you. Sure, even though we have moments in our week or month that light us up we don’t build our days plugging in activities that make our heart smile every chance we get, but we could. We seem to either be addicted to the roller coaster, or we’re completely unaware that there is an alternative to being a slave to our emotions.
#2 – We have given ourselves permission to be assholes. Somewhere along the way we have written contracts with those we love to just ‘take our shit’ when we are feeling off. We tell ourselves it’s only once in a while, and we apologize after the fact and for so many of us, we feel we are justified.
This occurred to me recently during our moving day when a friend lovingly noted that my husband and I were still being pleasant to one another. She commented that by this point she would be nasty and completely stressed out if it were her who was moving. Now it’s not to stay I was totally stress-free, but I was doing my damnedest to stay true to my commitments to remained kind and loving even under the conditions. Believe me I have had that unwritten ‘ok to be an asshole’ contract signed sealed and delivered to anyone that would accept it most of my life – I was the queen of the ‘blowing up and then kissing up’ after, but it’s just not for me any more. People just accepted it, and it was a two way street with almost everyone I knew. I got away with it because no one was calling me out on it.
The difference is that now I am anally conscious (I think I will trade mark that – that’s awesomely descript!) It’s not that I have it all together it’s merely that I am aware of when tension is building and I work to manage it – like a boss. When I begin to feel anything that feels uncomfortable I go to work distinguishing what the hell is going on inside my head. I take a look at what dis-empowering conversation I have made up and I look at what I can do to shift and transform the entire situation. Very rarely do I feel powerless.
We are not trees rooted into the earth, we are able to remove ourselves from every single situation that doesn’t feel right. Be aware however, that sometimes sub-consciosuly we re-created situations until we learn the lessons from them. There is a cost and a benefits to everything that occurs in our lives, and there are no accidents. So if something re-occurringly shows up in your life that pisses you off, welcome it as a chance to learn and grow. Take a look at what you are getting out of it. That’s where you’ll find the reason it exists or (gulp) the reason that you are co-creating it.
People may do things you don’t agree with or that you have a strong opinion about, hell they may even appall you with the choices they make, but you and only you get to say what all that means. These are common reason to blow up or be triggered. People that do not share your core values, will almost always get under our skin. Our core values are held so close to our hearts that it’s so hard when others don’t agree with them. We have made them oh so freaking significant. We silly humans. These significant buttons are the quickest triggers for most of us.
Great news! You have complete control over this as well. I think we have all made up the story that we all need to agree with everything always. For me it helps to remember too that we can agree to simply disagree – no one needs to over power and win. I invite you to think about how many times you go over and over a conversation that you wish you had? Or something better or more powerful your could have said to someone? Was it in hopes of making someone wrong and having them see it your way? Busted!
When you can learn to master your own thoughts (stories) no one outside of you can effect your precious world. Nope no one.
Sending you all powerful awareness as humans, so you can put aside what doesn’t serve you and you can light up the world with your brilliance!
Love, Cindy XO
Suggested Reading: ‘You Rock’ and All my other blog posts that resonate with you.